No Corkscrew? No Problem?!

You’ve got the premium artisan cheese, stellar wine that you spent at least three quarters of an hour deciding on, and the glasses that, in one look, will convey your supercool sense of style. You’re ready to begin your fabulous feast and realize…you have no corkscrew. Damn! So close and yet so far. Short of brandishing a sabre to cut open the neck of the bottle, you’re out of luck. Or are you…?

Scanning the interwebs, I found a few methods you can try in a pinch:

  •  MacGyver Paperclip Method: take two paper clips, unfold and push down either side of the cork in the neck of the bottle. Rotate the lower pointy clip ends into the bottom of the cork and then get a pen. Wrap the upper ends of the paper clip around the pen above the neck and start pulling. And keep on pulling. By nightfall, you might have that bad boy out.
  • Screw it: take a big screw (or nails) hammer them into the cork and pull (hard). But who the hell brings nails, hammer and screws to a picnic? Moving on…
  •  Pump It Up (or syringe method): Uh…okay. So you’ve already drilled a hole into your cork and you just happen to have a bike pump (or syringe) handy. Put the needle into the cork, apply a little air pressure and…pop! goes the cork. It worked in the video…
  •  Push It: Using anything sturdy (tire gauge, Sharpie, whatever) that will fit, and just push the damn cork into the bottle. It’s not pretty, sexy, or showy but it’s an old stand-by that’ll get the job done. I hear ninety percent of the time … it works every time.

The method I thought was the most interesting was opening the bottle with a shoe. In theory it works like so: Take the bottle, put it in the heel of your shoe and hit it against a solid surface ~ like a tree (or picnic table). Voila! In six or seven strikes, your bottle is open and the wine can flow. In the YouTube videos I watched, it looked pretty easy. And many people have been writing about this method the past couple of days, so I guess I’m a bit redundant. But I wanted to try it for myself; I am an empirical girl ( living in an empirical world).

How did it work for me? Well, click the video below:

Another method is to take a gun and shoot the neck right off the bottle. You might end up with some glass chards or gunpowder in your goblet but… being a Canadian girl, I think I’ll just use my hockey stick.


©TheWineStudent, 2014


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